Focus...

It's 3:30am and I'm awake and trying to pray ( which I try to do when I can't sleep) but, as I begun to pray , I started thinking about cleaning my bathroom & pantry, rearranging things & checking my email! ( it's 3:30AM - would I really have any emails...lol)! I found myself praying that I would stop thinking of other things & start praying without mental distraction & for God's will in my life.....I just need to "FOCUS". Not just on the things of God, but letting go of all my distractions that keep me from hearing the voice of God...because really it's easier to play on facebook ( for me, anyway). Fb is not bad...I just need to find a balance + I pray for many people on there! God uses us in many ways!


Also I have been feeling "unimportant" in the things of GOD but I read this & know that I need to press through & believe my "praying" has GREAT affects.

1Tim 4:8-16 ( NLT)
8 "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come." 9 This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. 10 This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.
11 Teach these things and insist that everyone learn them. 12 Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 13 Until I get there, focus on reading the Scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers, and teaching them.
14 Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecy spoken over you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you. 15 Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. 16 Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you.

It's easy to believe that when your not in a church full time, doing missionary work, involved in some type of ministry that your not doing anything for God!

But, you can do Gods will in your living room, just praying for someone or the smile you give to the cashier @ the store! God uses us in many ways, even if you post a Scripture on "facebook" you never know to whom you will touch! The point is to be open to let God use you, pray when you get up in the morning before you start your day....for God to open that door & you will speak to and see the person(s) you are suppose to & you will be obedient when you hear that little "voice" inside you that tell you to say something to them. We are living vessels for God & we many times want him to "use" us, but we lack boldness or we become fearful when it's time. It's not easy to obey God sometimes but, the outcome when we do is so worth it, you can touch many lives with just "simple" things & you don't have to be "preachy" about it. So I pray...

Dear Lord,

Please show me all my distractions that are keeping me from you & help me to keep my focus on the things of God! I pray that you use me each and everyday to be a vessel for you! Let your light shine upon me & that your love just flows out of me on to every person I come in contact with. And I pray for favor from the ones I need to minister to. Thank you, Lord for using me today!

Unique....

glitter-graphics.com

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, ">

Psalm 139:14 (New Living Translation) Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

This is a word that has been used to describe me my entire life. One word that I have not really, truly accepted, for deep down inside I have always just wanted to be like everyone else, for it would be much easier that way, right? I mean the clothes I wore, my way of seeing things, my personality, all the things I should like about myself. But, I found it difficult to fit in with people, but at the same time I had many friends and was in the "popular" crowd in high school and even with all of those friends I still felt alone and struggled with my identity.

(20 yrs later)- The thing that I used to hate about myself is now something I am beginning love and truly appreciate. I believe that God decided exactly how I should be...and I know that he will use everything about me for his good! I have gotten many prophecies over the years saying " stopping trying to fit in, God made you just the way you are", and as I look back on those words I received I feel so good that God created me in his image and made me different from everyone else...I believe that is a gift too.

So, as I get "comfortable" in my own skin and start loving everything about me....I am finding that I am a little less serious, uptight and can relax in the moment. I am really excited about my future and ready for all the things God has in store for me...2010 is a year of "change" for me and I have accepted the challenge and will grow in every way possible.


"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

Jeremiah 29:11

Happy -vs- Sad

She is adorable either way!!

My sweet life....

So this is love,

So this is what makes life divine.

-- Cinderella

On my mind...

I read a blog today of someone I don't know, but lost her beautiful little 3 yr daughter in 2007 & I've been in tears all day......( & praying for her) ........& have also been hugging & kissing Rylee much more ( if that's possible) & now I'm watching her sleep!! I'm BEYOND blessed to have her in my life!! TREASURE every moment your given!!

Know you what it is to be a child?…
It is to believe in love, to believe in loveliness, to believe in belief;

it is to be so little that the elves can reach to whisper in your ear,

it is to turn pumpkins into coaches,

and mice into horses,

lowness into loftiness,

and nothing into everything,

for each child has its fairy godmother in its soul.

– Francis Thompson

Career Woman to Housewife/Mommy....

I never actually wanted children, I always said I would work & be successful!   Then at the age of 25 I became pregnant & everything changed for me,but unfortunately I miscarried at 4 1/2 months which was devastating.   That pregnancy was not planned & at the time I was not married!   After that experience it would be 8 yrs before my life would be truly complete! I married my husband 4 yrs after the miscarriage  ( the same person I was with at that time)& we decided to wait a while before planning to have a family.......but my every thought was consumed with having a baby.  When we finally decided to try and I was so discouraged during the process, but my 90 yr old granny said something profound to me " when your heart & your mind line up you will get pregnant", oh how she knew me well!!   For I had some things to work on with me before it would happen!  I always thought it would be so easy once we started, I mean it is easy for everyone else, but the difference for me is GOD has my life totally & completely in his hands & he was the only one that knew the right time for me!

(2 years later).........And then there was Rylee!!!  Words can not explain the most precious gift from GOD that I was to receive on December 10, 2008.   My world & what I thought about everything "completely" changed! It was like for the 1st time in my life I felt whole!  How could I have not ever wanted this??   She is the sweetest little baby in the world, with the cutest personality I know!  Becoming a mother would exceed any job or career I could ever have!

As far as my career, which was 10 yrs in Property Management (traveling & moving for the job) would just be over just like that!  The stress, the money, the recognition & my work friendships!  What a difference becoming a " stay @ home mommy"  would be!   Motherhood is by far harder than any apartment complex & staff  I have ever been in charge of! Instead of starting my day off with staff meetings, eviction letters & phone calls from upper management, it now was VERY early morning feedings, stinky diapers, feeling absolutely exhausted from NO sleep!  Loads of laundry, dishes & housework that I had a "good" excuse from not always getting done before,  which was " I work" just like you do ( I would say to Keith).  Oh & cooking " what me, are you crazy", I'm WAY to exhausted from work...lol!  That's funny I thought I was "tired" then!

Well, my job was "easy" compared to trying to get everything done with a small one in the house & I have to say " honestly" it's take about 1 yr to fill like I'm getting the hang of being a "housewife".  I do occasionally miss my office & having adult conversation & writing that hard " monthly owner's letter" but I wouldn't trade getting to spend everyday waking up to the prettiest smile in the world, Rylee pulling my hair saying "momma"...trying to wake me up @ the crack of dawn!  I call her my little "rooster"...lol!

So even though I don't bring in the $$$ anymore & use my brain  @ an office, I am happy about my choice to finally become a " Mother"!

And by the way.....we are trying for #2!!

My Photoshoot..

My sister took these photos of me and I just got a little creative with them. I was in deperate need of some new photos. So here I am...lol!