My sweetie and her new bike...

GOD, is that your voice I hear????

Well, I know it's been FOREVER since my last post.  I really only write on this blog when I feel compelled to do so, or GOD says so..lol! Like now.

These last few months I have been in my own emotional mind battle.  Let's just say it's like being on a rollercoster & never getting off.  I mean like going through the SAME thing over & over again.  I have had some past issues, you know bitterness, unforgiveness, & regrets that I haven't been able to forgive "myself" for....just things I struggle with.  Getting mad at God, because I felt like everytime I prayed about something it was like hitting my head on a brick wall! So I gave up, just really was in a bad place spiritually , "Have you been there", anyone with me? So frustrated that I was having the longest "pity party" ever. Well, SNAP out of it Vicki, GOD wants to use you ..what GOD are you talking to me??

So here's 2 little stories of mine as a reference....!

A few years well a little more, I was 28,  I was living & working in a little town called Clute..just there for 8 months, but GOD had a reason for me being there...I mean "deeper" than me just doing my "job".  I was working as a Property Manager & never knew how my " actions" could effect people.  First, I met this lady name Jimmie, she was the apartment house keeper..the sweetest woman ever! So one day..I was MAD at the copier...it was a Monday morning & reports where due & I needed copies made...so ( don't laugh), but I proceeded to "lay hands on the copier & pray...I had NO idea Jimmie was watching! It began to work..& she came up to me & said "Wow, you are just what I needed a woman of God for a boss! I just smiled. :). A little time goes by & I was at home & felt this sudden urge to pray for her, so the next day..I took her to my apartment & said I must pray for you, not sure why...so I begin to pray!  A few days later she informs me that she was driving with her grand kids in the back & fell asleep..went of the road a little NO damage & NO one was hurt. At that point we realized that prayer was for her life & safety. Sure glad I "obeyed" that voice that said " pray Vicki". GOD is good!

Next story- same place..

I had the WORST migraine headache & decided after days of having it, a massage was in order. So I called this little place there & made an appointment with Wanda.  Let's just say I had NO idea GOD's plans.  So I arrived & got ready for my massage & laid my head down inside the whole of the table..(lol) & as Wanda began to massage me, I begin to cry uncontrollably, she said "Are you okay", I said yes @ first..! As I laid there GOD said, " Tell her I'm going to heal her husband', I said, "WHAT, NO WAY, I don't know her. But, oh this feeling wouldn't  go away.  So I sit up on the table, in a "small soft voice" said.." this is going to sound crazy but, I have to say this to you & I hope you don't think I'm crazy".  I said "GOD is going to heal your husband & as I spoke those words..more came & I begin to pray for her, in a small back room, in a robe, in tears, a stranger to me..but GOD said, so I did! Turns out I was (well GOD was) right right on the mark & she begin to open up about her situation & said years ago she had a little girl named  Vicki, that was killed on her bike right at her drive way & that the minute I walked through the door, I reminded her of her daughter & even the same name. See how GOD works, the details he goes through for us. So that day in Clute was life changing for me.  Never disobey the voice of GOD, some that needs to hear it..is VERY important to him.

So, years later...like 2 weeks ago I was driving (lol) to my mom's..my 4 hour "quiet time" that GOD has me alone & talks to me & I have to listen..(smiles), he brought the  story of Wanda back to my mind & said, "that's how I want to use you", I said "Okay GOD, give me the words & I will speak them.

So, I get home & still mad at somethings & my "issues" are bothering me again....& for months I have had "extreme" anxiety & almost considering the doctor for help. But, wait...

The New Year comes & I feel that I have truly LET GO of some yucky stuff, my baggage I was holding on to & opened my bible & got back into his word.,everyday for 5 days now..5 days straight ( big deal for me), you see I attempted last year to read the bible in a year...didn't happen..this year IT WILL happen.

Now my point..lol.! A few days ago I felt the need to put on facebook that I wanted to pray for people & for days I have been & God is moving.  So yesterday, I decided to go to Target, which usually when I mention leaving my house, a FLOOD of anxiety overwhelms me & I barely can breathe & have to fight to get out the door...well I didn't feel that!  I felt PEACE, like I haven't felt in YEARS...I was shocked! On the way, I just had tears rolling down my face, because for the first time, in a LONG time, I felt GOD's presence all around me & I was obeying him in my life!

So, the moral of my story..is GOD wants to use you, you just have to let him & when you do...you'll feel it & know it & will be at peace!!

Deut 28:2 If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world.2 You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God:

God Bless...

Confession of My Heart...

I was driving home (well to my mom's) and its a 4 hour drive so I always use this time to pray.  I have had somethings that I have been needing to change within myself.  You know something you NEVER want to REALLY admit that you have a problem with.  So on my drive I was praying and just thinking about a few things, talking with God and this song came on the radio, I have NEVER heard it before...but I can tell you that it "hit me like a ton of bricks" when I heard the words.  Discovering  or admitting your "hidden sin" is NO fun, but the growth that will happen within you after you admit it, then repent will be well worth it.

"My Own Little World" - Matthew West

In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry or always felt safe
I got some money in my pocketshoes on my feet
In m own little world
Population me


I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ’til it hurts
and I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
it’s easy to do when it’s population me


What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world

Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
Outside the car, saw a sign, said “Help this homeless widow”
Just above this sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
in my own little world there’s Population two

What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me

Selfishness is something we never want to confession we are, but I think that each of us has a little in us.  I have come to realize my "little " is actually "a lot". 

I found some great scriptures that talk about selfishness and I needed to read everyone of them.

Psalm 119:36
Turn my heart towards your statutes and not towards selfish gain.

Proverbs 18:1
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends: he defies all sound judgement.

Phillipians 1:17
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

James 3:14
But if you harbor bitter envy and self ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.

James 3:16
For where you have envy and self ambition there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Phillipians 2:3-4
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humitlity of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others.

Dear Lord, Please create in me a clean heart. Show me the sin within my heart. Forgive me for being selfish towards the people I love and most of all you.  Please help me to be more like you and to be aware of the oppportunites I have to improve in my life. Thank you for you unconditional love and allowing me to repent and forgiving me no matter what.   Help me to realize it NOT JUST POPULATION ME.   In Jesus Name.

Let's Talk! Tuesday

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1.  GOD answered some prayers of mine this week and that is THE BEST FEELING!  GOD, you NEVER cease to AMAZE me!!!

2. It's almost 9am and all the dishes are washed, living room picked up and homemade cookies are in the oven....now that's an accomplishment..lol! Next, to the store to get diapers or pull ups :).  She peed on the floor twice last night! We are working on potty training..!

3.  I have NO idea if my sister will continue to do Let's Talk! Tuesday, but I am sure she will have another neat thing to do.  :0)

4. Word Vocabulary DVD's are great...they keep Rylee's attention for a "little" while...! It helped me with #2.

5. My SWEET BLESSING!

6.  I found a friend on Facebook yesterday that I have been trying to find for years.  Excited we are back in touch! 

7.  Yesterday was my Granny's 92nd birthday...this woman means the world to me! I am VERY close to her and miss her A LOT!  I can't wait to see her next time I come down!

8.  GOD IS AMAZING!

9. GOD IS AMAZING!

10. EXCITED and HAPPY today!

Happy Tuesday!! Be Blessed!

Releasing My Thoughts

I am sitting at my kitchen table with a million and one things on my brain.  I tried to take a nap earlier (horrible headache) and I could NEVER relax.  It got me thinking about my "sleep issues", I have suffered with insomnia my entire life and really still don't know why.  Its hard to NEVER  feel rested and being an OVER- thinker doesn't help either.  I am going to try to list all the things I am concerned with or thinking about...maybe doing this will help.  I probably should write this in my journal, but Rylee would never let me do that!

1.  House Remodel -  We are in the stages of trying to accomplish this and really NEED prayer for something's.  This is something that needs to happen, we have really outgrown our house and when we purchased it, it was with the intent to remodel it ASAP....! Fast forward to 5 years later and RYLEE...!  The floorplan has never been functional and a change really needs to be made.

2.   Losing weight-  I need to lose at least 30lbs, which would put me at a great weight that I am comfortable with.  The thing is, I have lost my baby weight a LONG time ago (all 29lbs of it), but I was about 25lbs overweight when before I got pregnant.  And we all know I am not getting yonger and that its harder to lose the older you get....YIKES!  Now, I just need to decide how I want to achieve my goal.  I have considered ordering AdvoCare, but I think I might try Dr. Oz You: On A Diet- I have heard good things about it and I am not to fond of pills...!  So starting next week...fruits, veggies, chicken and fish will be on my plate, along with WATER (no Dr. Pepper..boo-hoo).  So WISH ME LUCK and say a prayer that I can do it.

3.  Another Baby-  hmmmmmmmmm, I know that we want one.  When I decided to have kids I always said TWO would be perfect for me, a girl and boy (everyone's thoughts), BUT  what IF I have twins...VERY possible.  I will give that one to GOD.  Rylee is almost  2 and that is a good age gap and again....I am NOT getting ANY younger! I am already considered "high risk" at 35!  I really don't see wanting them farther apart in age....so I guess we better start talking about this one.  (HOUSE REMODEL)

4.  Spiritual -  I am not really where I want or need to be in this area.  Then again most of us never are.  I am TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH GOD and I am an intercessor and PRAY ALL THE TIME, but find it difficult to read my bible everyday.  Also, I am still searching for a church...not really hard...I might add.  A few weeks ago, I did go to a Cowboys for Jesus church right down the road and its NOT for me! So the search will continue..its something I really need to do.

5.  My Photography-  As you know, I started Tin Bucket Photograhy and so far its going REALLY SLOW, which is what I expected considering I have a 21 month old little girl and I am a stay at home mommy.   I did have 2 appointments  a couple of weeks ago that I was excited about, but neither worked out...and I understood why but, was a little disappointed.  There is always next time.  Anyway, I know that I want to do this for a long time and it will eventually happen.  I am lacking inspiration lately, and with this heat....UGH, who wants to sweat to death...NOT ME.

6.  Motherhood -  I have to say that its not easy being a mommy to my ALMOST 2 yr old.  Her little personality is SHINING through and MOOD SWINGS...hahaha ( where oh where does she get those from...lol). I love every minute of it...even though I AM EXHAUSTED!!!  She is now talking...saying MANY words...which the word "ICE" is our favorite...(ADORABLE) and "TRACTOR" is a close second,  Currently teething, 4 teeth and we are not enjoying it to much, sleeping in her own bed (I'm still on the floor beside her...come on mommy...let go...haha), completely weaned...WOO-HOO, (I miss the closeness, but not the act), tonight she opened the bathroom door for the 1st time- WATCH OUT, absolutely LOVES shoes, purses, jewelry and clothes (like her mommy), oh and the LOOKS she started giving me this week...I have to say she gave me one of  "my looks" and I was like OH NO :O), and taking off her diaper and going to the bathroom to sit on her potty chair and MUST have the door closed...!  She does it in her diaper about 5 minutes before we get to the bathroom, but she says "pee-pee" so she knows. I LOVE RYLEE RAE! How will I handle another one...makes me nervous thinking about it.

7.  I feel like I am writing a Let's Talk! Tuesday..HAHA!  Something I do every Tuesday for my sister's blog.  Is that you Lord.  (take a look).

8.  Many, many, many more things, but this is all I have the energy to write.  No one is going to read this but me..anyway.

So, I hope I can sleep after typing all this...!

Sweet Dreams..I hope!

Lets Talk! Tuesday

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1.  Today, my mom and I have been shopping at resale shops tyring to find some cute photography props. I found the 2 VERY cute stick horses, one is blue and the other is red!  I LOVE THEM.  I would take a picture..but maybe later. ( I might take pics of ALL the stuff I find, then post)

2.  I have 2 photo shoots this weekend and I am VERY nervous and I hope that I do a good job.  I have rented a 'fabulous' lens so my photos will be the best they can be.  I can't wait to buy the lens, but is about $1000, so I better start saving! Donations..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (kidding)!

3.  We are in the process (beginning stages) of planning our house remodel!  Its been A LONG TIME coming!  And you would NOT believe the FAVOR OF GOD..we have had already and the doors that are opening for us and we haven't even started!!  Here is a photo what it will look like after, my hubby (an architect) desgined and did this rendering!!

4.  I SERVE AN AWESOME GOD!!!

5.  I think this is all I will write for today, waiting on Rylee to wake up so we can get back on the road and head to some more shops...she fell asleep so we had to come home!!

Have a great Tuesday!! :0)

Let's Talk! Tuesday

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First, I would like to say this has been an emotional week for me. 

1.  Today my GORGEOUS little sweetie pie is 20 months and 2 days ago....started sleeping in her bed for the first time.   I have also been weaning her completely during this time.  My sweet sister,  of course been getting her to sleep and putting her in her bed...and waking up when she does..which the 1st night was lots! But, I am happy and SURPRISED to report that for the first time EVER, she slept through the night and so did I.  STILL SHOCKED.   Here is a photo Shelly took, when Keith (her daddy) was putting her bed up and this was her first (using this word a lot...lol) climbing in her bed!

2.  Here is a cute little video (I hope this works..??) of Rylee and Logan playing in her bed!

3. I just had to post this too...another photo taken by
 my sister...!

 4. FINALLY, I have received my logo and watermark. I am still trying to figure out how to put it on my website..lol!  So here it is, in all its glory! Designed by Tracy Sugelime Designs

Logo

This is my watermark, it is my copyright for my photos!

5  Okay, this is it for me today...we are heading to the Children's museum and I am sure we will take lots of pictures!



P.S. - I am working very hard on my website..its just taking a little longer than I thought! Now its just colors, a few little things here and there and it will be good to go...! I am excited!