In place I thought I would never be...

This post is very hard for me to write, but I feel like it will help me & maybe others. It's very hard for me to be this open & personal.

My story:

When I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, I never thought my life would be filled with anything other than joy.

My pregnancy was a difficult one, horrible morning sickness, early contractions, & 3 months of bed-rest. The day I had her I lost so much blood I need a blood transfusion & became severely anemic. This was only the beginning of an emotional roller coaster.

I knew that things would be harder with two children vs one..but it was more than that. I just felt different. Detached would be the word.

Fast forward to November 2012 (Channing was born in April) I decided I need to see a doctor with my concerns of how I was feeling. THREE days BEFORE my husband fell 12 ft off a ladder & broke his leg, I was diagnosed with postpardum depression & anxiety.

"Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery."

I was put on some medication for it. Well, two months go by & and I felt a 100 times worse. The medicine had a reverse reaction.

So just a little over a month ago, I started some new medication & seem to be doing better. It's still very hard & the guilt that I have to take anything at all, is hard. But, being healthy for my family is number one. So I am going trusting in God to get me through.

I had many people praying during my pregnancy & had a few words from God given to me, & I am hanging on to those. I have hope & faith. Some days my faith is very little, other days it's a big as a mountain.

Here are a few words I know were meant for me. I want to share.

(When I read this one, I stopped at the part were it said "ten weeks" & looked at my calendar..& it had been exactly ten weeks to the day, that Keith broke his leg)

1/23/13
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:

Stop and discern. Realize that you have stepped into a new spiritual flow. You are leaving behind the chaos and difficulty of the past ten weeks, and you will now have greater freedom and clarity. You will be able to deal more effectively with any trauma you sustained in that period of transition. I am releasing you into an anointing of ease if you will receive it by faith, says the Lord.

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."


Faith Tabernacle
February 6, 2013
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS:

Take the opportunities you are given to regroup. The battle has been fierce, and your fight has taken a lot of energy both spiritually and naturally. Now is the time when you can be renewed and restored. Stop and consider where you have been and where you are going to regain perspective. Draw near to Me, says the Lord, for I am your place of strength and safety in troubling times.

Psalms 18:2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I really hope to write on a regular basis on this blog, to help me with my healing process.

I have a feeling most of my friends figured this out on their own. I am working on keeping my feelings off of Facebook, & trying to be positive.

Please if you would, continue to pray for me & my family during this time in our lives, thank you!!

Vicki