I am sitting at my kitchen table with a million and one things on my brain. I tried to take a nap earlier (horrible headache) and I could NEVER relax. It got me thinking about my "sleep issues", I have suffered with insomnia my entire life and really still don't know why. Its hard to NEVER feel rested and being an OVER- thinker doesn't help either. I am going to try to list all the things I am concerned with or thinking about...maybe doing this will help. I probably should write this in my journal, but Rylee would never let me do that!
1. House Remodel - We are in the stages of trying to accomplish this and really NEED prayer for something's. This is something that needs to happen, we have really outgrown our house and when we purchased it, it was with the intent to remodel it ASAP....! Fast forward to 5 years later and RYLEE...! The floorplan has never been functional and a change really needs to be made.
2. Losing weight- I need to lose at least 30lbs, which would put me at a great weight that I am comfortable with. The thing is, I have lost my baby weight a LONG time ago (all 29lbs of it), but I was about 25lbs overweight when before I got pregnant. And we all know I am not getting yonger and that its harder to lose the older you get....YIKES! Now, I just need to decide how I want to achieve my goal. I have considered ordering AdvoCare, but I think I might try Dr. Oz You: On A Diet- I have heard good things about it and I am not to fond of pills...! So starting next week...fruits, veggies, chicken and fish will be on my plate, along with WATER (no Dr. Pepper..boo-hoo). So WISH ME LUCK and say a prayer that I can do it.
3. Another Baby- hmmmmmmmmm, I know that we want one. When I decided to have kids I always said TWO would be perfect for me, a girl and boy (everyone's thoughts), BUT what IF I have twins...VERY possible. I will give that one to GOD. Rylee is almost 2 and that is a good age gap and again....I am NOT getting ANY younger! I am already considered "high risk" at 35! I really don't see wanting them farther apart in age....so I guess we better start talking about this one. (HOUSE REMODEL)
4. Spiritual - I am not really where I want or need to be in this area. Then again most of us never are. I am TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH GOD and I am an intercessor and PRAY ALL THE TIME, but find it difficult to read my bible everyday. Also, I am still searching for a church...not really hard...I might add. A few weeks ago, I did go to a Cowboys for Jesus church right down the road and its NOT for me! So the search will continue..its something I really need to do.
5. My Photography- As you know, I started Tin Bucket Photograhy and so far its going REALLY SLOW, which is what I expected considering I have a 21 month old little girl and I am a stay at home mommy. I did have 2 appointments a couple of weeks ago that I was excited about, but neither worked out...and I understood why but, was a little disappointed. There is always next time. Anyway, I know that I want to do this for a long time and it will eventually happen. I am lacking inspiration lately, and with this heat....UGH, who wants to sweat to death...NOT ME.
6. Motherhood - I have to say that its not easy being a mommy to my ALMOST 2 yr old. Her little personality is SHINING through and MOOD SWINGS...hahaha ( where oh where does she get those from...lol). I love every minute of it...even though I AM EXHAUSTED!!! She is now talking...saying MANY words...which the word "ICE" is our favorite...(ADORABLE) and "TRACTOR" is a close second, Currently teething, 4 teeth and we are not enjoying it to much, sleeping in her own bed (I'm still on the floor beside her...come on mommy...let go...haha), completely weaned...WOO-HOO, (I miss the closeness, but not the act), tonight she opened the bathroom door for the 1st time- WATCH OUT, absolutely LOVES shoes, purses, jewelry and clothes (like her mommy), oh and the LOOKS she started giving me this week...I have to say she gave me one of "my looks" and I was like OH NO :O), and taking off her diaper and going to the bathroom to sit on her potty chair and MUST have the door closed...! She does it in her diaper about 5 minutes before we get to the bathroom, but she says "pee-pee" so she knows. I LOVE RYLEE RAE! How will I handle another one...makes me nervous thinking about it.
7. I feel like I am writing a Let's Talk! Tuesday..HAHA! Something I do every Tuesday for my sister's blog. Is that you Lord. (take a look).
8. Many, many, many more things, but this is all I have the energy to write. No one is going to read this but me..anyway.
So, I hope I can sleep after typing all this...!
Sweet Dreams..I hope!
I HAVE MOVED!
7 years ago
6 comments:
Hey I am the NO ONE who is reading!!!lol :0)
we went almost 3 years between churches it was to ODDEST feeling time....just let yourself BE in that inbetween place. It is ok...GOD has something. YOU will know what you KNOW IT's the place...no matter how much you look!
I have this little thing in me I call it --THE PUSH feel-- When I want to get to where I want to go and I am all frazzled in the mean time. I had to learn to purposely REST when I WANTED TO PUSH. HARD to do when I am a control FREAK!!!
Psalm 116:7
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
What GOOD things He has for us...they will come if He is handing them to us......REST in the mean time knowing what HE GIVES WILL BE REAL GOOD!!! and we dont have to worry about that!
my dear sweet Vicki...what you have is not insominia...it is anxiety..they make pills for that along with some theraphy and prayer. You are over whelmned with life..and maybe a little post partum to go with that..tell your OB-GYN about what you are feeling and I am sure he/she can help. You need not feel that you are alone in what you are feeling or going thru...alot of Moms go thru this and with a little help from Dr's, family and friends you will get thru it all and get back to your old self again...get some back up with Rylee and get some alone time for yourself away from all the stuff that is weighing you down...you will love yourself for it..and so will your husband and child...:) Mother's need time to themselves just like Dad's do..so take a little time for yourself...Take Rylee to your Mom's or Sandie's, or Shelly's for three to five days and get some alone time to get you back to where you want to be...and do it soon..:) love you bunches, aunt ditty..:)PS: and remember to take time for yourself when ever you feel the need..and pay no attention to what others may say or think..if you are not together then the family will not be either..:)take a little time for yourself...when ever needed!!!
I love your blog! So Cute!.
I do this all the time. Just yping things to get them out of my head so that it might free me a little to let me sleep. I completely understand! You are a great mommy and Rylee is AWESOME. I wouldnt worry so much. Don't you feel better now that you got all of that out?
Hey we really need to set up a picture time with you. But obviously we will have to wait on Freds kids. They dont want to see us right now with all of that custody bull crap that happened last week. Love you. XOXOX
That was me... Shana
Hey Vicki! I'm a no one reading this too.. lol. I think Aunt Ditty hit the nail on the head with her diagnosis. And you are not alone. My brain spins so fast, even in conversation, I can't keep up with it. Will have to post more later, have to get julia to gymnastics. You're not alone! love glennis
Yep...I agree with Aunt Ditty, too! :) I love you sis...now bring my niece to me!! :)
xoxo
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