GOD, is that your voice I hear????

Well, I know it's been FOREVER since my last post.  I really only write on this blog when I feel compelled to do so, or GOD says so..lol! Like now.

These last few months I have been in my own emotional mind battle.  Let's just say it's like being on a rollercoster & never getting off.  I mean like going through the SAME thing over & over again.  I have had some past issues, you know bitterness, unforgiveness, & regrets that I haven't been able to forgive "myself" for....just things I struggle with.  Getting mad at God, because I felt like everytime I prayed about something it was like hitting my head on a brick wall! So I gave up, just really was in a bad place spiritually , "Have you been there", anyone with me? So frustrated that I was having the longest "pity party" ever. Well, SNAP out of it Vicki, GOD wants to use you ..what GOD are you talking to me??

So here's 2 little stories of mine as a reference....!

A few years well a little more, I was 28,  I was living & working in a little town called Clute..just there for 8 months, but GOD had a reason for me being there...I mean "deeper" than me just doing my "job".  I was working as a Property Manager & never knew how my " actions" could effect people.  First, I met this lady name Jimmie, she was the apartment house keeper..the sweetest woman ever! So one day..I was MAD at the copier...it was a Monday morning & reports where due & I needed copies made...so ( don't laugh), but I proceeded to "lay hands on the copier & pray...I had NO idea Jimmie was watching! It began to work..& she came up to me & said "Wow, you are just what I needed a woman of God for a boss! I just smiled. :). A little time goes by & I was at home & felt this sudden urge to pray for her, so the next day..I took her to my apartment & said I must pray for you, not sure why...so I begin to pray!  A few days later she informs me that she was driving with her grand kids in the back & fell asleep..went of the road a little NO damage & NO one was hurt. At that point we realized that prayer was for her life & safety. Sure glad I "obeyed" that voice that said " pray Vicki". GOD is good!

Next story- same place..

I had the WORST migraine headache & decided after days of having it, a massage was in order. So I called this little place there & made an appointment with Wanda.  Let's just say I had NO idea GOD's plans.  So I arrived & got ready for my massage & laid my head down inside the whole of the table..(lol) & as Wanda began to massage me, I begin to cry uncontrollably, she said "Are you okay", I said yes @ first..! As I laid there GOD said, " Tell her I'm going to heal her husband', I said, "WHAT, NO WAY, I don't know her. But, oh this feeling wouldn't  go away.  So I sit up on the table, in a "small soft voice" said.." this is going to sound crazy but, I have to say this to you & I hope you don't think I'm crazy".  I said "GOD is going to heal your husband & as I spoke those words..more came & I begin to pray for her, in a small back room, in a robe, in tears, a stranger to me..but GOD said, so I did! Turns out I was (well GOD was) right right on the mark & she begin to open up about her situation & said years ago she had a little girl named  Vicki, that was killed on her bike right at her drive way & that the minute I walked through the door, I reminded her of her daughter & even the same name. See how GOD works, the details he goes through for us. So that day in Clute was life changing for me.  Never disobey the voice of GOD, some that needs to hear it..is VERY important to him.

So, years later...like 2 weeks ago I was driving (lol) to my mom's..my 4 hour "quiet time" that GOD has me alone & talks to me & I have to listen..(smiles), he brought the  story of Wanda back to my mind & said, "that's how I want to use you", I said "Okay GOD, give me the words & I will speak them.

So, I get home & still mad at somethings & my "issues" are bothering me again....& for months I have had "extreme" anxiety & almost considering the doctor for help. But, wait...

The New Year comes & I feel that I have truly LET GO of some yucky stuff, my baggage I was holding on to & opened my bible & got back into his word.,everyday for 5 days now..5 days straight ( big deal for me), you see I attempted last year to read the bible in a year...didn't happen..this year IT WILL happen.

Now my point..lol.! A few days ago I felt the need to put on facebook that I wanted to pray for people & for days I have been & God is moving.  So yesterday, I decided to go to Target, which usually when I mention leaving my house, a FLOOD of anxiety overwhelms me & I barely can breathe & have to fight to get out the door...well I didn't feel that!  I felt PEACE, like I haven't felt in YEARS...I was shocked! On the way, I just had tears rolling down my face, because for the first time, in a LONG time, I felt GOD's presence all around me & I was obeying him in my life!

So, the moral of my story..is GOD wants to use you, you just have to let him & when you do...you'll feel it & know it & will be at peace!!

Deut 28:2 If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world.2 You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God:

God Bless...